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By Rosalind Krauss

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That was it—Mighty Tighty Whitey leaped at his cousin and their war of words turned into actual war. They began wrestling and punching inside the hamper. I really wanted to avoid being seen by the Laundrogoons and this wasn’t going to help. ” I said. But no. Mighty snapped Tubesock repeatedly in the face with his super-elastic head/waistband. Thwack! Thwack! Thwack! “I’ll thwack ya back ta St. ” Tubesock started showing off his superpowers, too. Although most of his body was made of soft, knitted material—not exactly the most threatening substance—since his head contained his brain, and his incredible stubbornness made his brain as hard as a rock, his head was a deadly weapon.

Yes . . disgustingly evil,” snickered the Laundrogoons. I 52 I was thinking about what our next move would be, trying to be as quiet as possible, but someone was making a lot of noise. When the Impossibly Tough Two-Headed Infant is out of breath, one twin breathes in loudly and the other breathes out loudly. Biff was breathing in long, deep breaths that sounded like a very long-winded owl: “Whooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo . ” And Smiff was breathing out: 53 “Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee .

Mighty told me that he had started out as a pair of my underwear. “I thought you looked familiar,” I said. But he ran away before I had even opened the plastic package he came in. He knew from the start that he was that kind of underwear. “It was completely impossible to breathe in there,” he said. He made it all the way to the Lost Undergarment District on his own but then realized he had no place to stay. And that’s when Jumpin’ Jack Jockstrap and the Battlin’ Bra of Birmingham took him in. They took in lots of young runaway socks and underwear.

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Antivision by Rosalind Krauss


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